At wits end

After one night of thinking and a brief chat with vivian, I finally understand what went wrong... It not about seminar, its not about test, its about her!! She has lack of understand for me and is behaving very mysteriously. I can sense her hiding something from me, she can't escape my observation...is she afraid of me? She seems to be somewhat avoiding me. Can u imagine that i told her everything about myself and she still keep asking:are u ok? are u ok? What more u want me to say? i told u everything but u don't believe me, when i ask u to tell me everything, u hide something from me..haiz...honesty and trust is the most important aspect for every couple, u can't trust me? or u afraid that i will be angry? Well, the thing that i will really be angry at is that u are hiding something from me, avoiding me and playing around with others. I realised that the both of us changed, me to become more serious, less talkative and more stupid. U became more smart and playful. Haiz...I was so blinded that i did not uncover this myself...Now..something has to be done to save this mess...the mess that was not created by me...but created by her...

Stress

I have been thinking a lot lately...isit due to my seminar presentation that i am feeling so stressed and nervous? Assignments, test coming up, and i am stuck in no man's land. I feel that i am alone, although my dear is always there to accompany me. I wonder why i have an uneasy feeling when she starts talking to 'him'. Jealousy? discomfort? I have no idea... Is there no one that can understand me? I have no close friends now that can understand my thoughts, no one who stands on the same line as me, how i miss my brothers in JB. haha! nevertheless! This sad me is often not the case, over dependent on her i guess? I just have to sort out my feelings and maintain my health, i feel like i am falling sick. I hope that i will feel better physically and mentally after few days. All the best to myself then!! haha!

Friday

Yesterday was a typical friday, with the class end exceptionally early, which is 12.30pm. Everyone went back, except for me who was all alone looking for some place to have lunch. My gf and her group went along with their mentor who treated them lunch. However, something is disturbing me...apparently this guy is trying to be really close to my gf, eating together, sitting side by side....what is he up to? My dear is so innocent that she doesn't even know what is going on, how naive..haha! Not that i am being jealous but she should at least keep a distance if she finds out that the guy have some interest in her. Later that evening, i went to the gym with my friend william and his sidekick. Surprisingly after such a long time of inactivity, i could still pull out a 3km run within 25 mins, haha! So my stamina have not deteriorate after all huh? I could have stayed on running longer but my legs stopped me. Later at night, I had dinner with my dear before sending her off. She is following her mum's car back home, I miss her :( After that i managed to persuade vivian to go out with me and william. Haiyo william don't have an plan so we went circling in the curve and also had supper in the garden. We went back to cova around 11.30pm and i went to have a chat with vivian. She convinced me that something was quite wrong with the guy who was close with my gf. He is trying to follow me? following my actions? following my way of treating people? I have to test him....but how?? hmm....

Valentines :P

Valentines day still got class? haha! sheesh sia! But nvm, i still can plan an outing in the night, hehe... I brought her out to one utama and had a nice meal :P NOT MCD YA!!! But she made an effort to save my money, lol! such a sweet girl :P Watched a very hilarious movie: all well ends well 2011!! haha! i almost laughed my head off! She complain that i buat malu only cuz I laughed very loudly! Comedy mah! sure have to laugh! haha! I was overjoyed at my first valentines experience! and thank you my dear for the present!! very very cute and sweet :P Too bad i not that romantic...hmm, i think i should do something oso, haha!

CNY

This past Tuesday, after the tiring anatomy lecture, i went back, bathed, packed and awaited the arrival of my parents :) Gave a hug to my dear dear and embark on my journey to batu gajah, hoho! We arrived at my eldest aunt's house around dinner time and had a sumptuous meal! I miss her cooking, it has been 3 years since i came back, the last was during my grandma's funeral. We chatted for quite some time and left cuz we had to check in to the clearwater satuary lakeside paraside :P Had a tired day so i was quickly knocked out and fell fast asleep.....

2/2/2011
*shakes**nudge* YAWN!!!! was shaken up by my dad early in the morning, still half asleep, tired sia! But dad brought us for breakfast and went to buy some stuff in the nearby value mart. We went to my aunt's house for lunch and tea and went back to our chalet to prepare for some sports activities :) I played almost 2 hours of badminton with my brother and dad and i won four matches out of 5! :) But i should not have lost the last match, fatigue came over me and my bro won due to a fluke, hahaha! Went back to aunt's house after bathing and we stayed until midnight which is the first day of CNY!!! Woohooo! fireworks!!! haha! But my uncle to put up fireworks due to the mata-mata circling around the neighbourhood ==

3/2/2011
Whole body aching due to the after effect of yesterday's badminton game. Ate breakfast in the lakeside restaurant and was ready to go to aunt's place for angpau :P I got a few angpaus and we started gambling! haha! went back to clearwater santuary for a swim and back to aunt's house for games again, hehe...

4/2/2011
Now my legs are soft due to swimming! zzz...however its the second day of cny and its hardcore gambling day!! My second uncle and fourth uncle and my cousins are here!! we played cards for several hours and i had to go up to ipoh for dinner with my mum's side family :)

5/2/2011
Packed up and back to KL, had an awesome day with william in sunway giza. I played my first game of snooker, haha! Missing her, hope to meet her soon :)